Those two things are also not in conflict.
I live a very, very happy life on the overall. I have an amazing kid who's about to start college, I have two partners who I adore and by whom I am adored. I run a business which allows me to employ my brother and 2 other queer folx and which is doing better year over year, which allows me to do my art for a living. I have 4 dogs who I love. I live in a lovely house in a neighborhood I like which is reasonably accessible. I have the health care I need. I eat food which I like, and have hobbies I enjoy which I undertake with my partners. I write for roleplaying games, which I really enjoy. My online community is pretty fucking rad, and I have reached out to it for support and reached out to support it many times. I dress the way I like to dress, and I am deeply rooted in my Jewish community, which I love and which loves me.
And I'm fucking pissed off at the injustices of the world and the way my generation and the one before it was forced to grow up. I'm pissed off that these fuckers are trying to bring that all back for my kids and the kids of my kids.
Those two things are not in conflict at all. You can live a happy, fulfilled life and also be righteously fucking pissed about your own mistreatment and the mistreatment of others, and the idea that those two things are in conflict at all is a form of tone policing on the part of the person who Qualia is QTing. The implication that if we are angry at all that we cannot also be deeply fulfilled in our lives is a sort of emotional negging. If you're angry, you have failed to be fulfilled and happy. If you're angry, you are just proof that your "lifestyle" is deviant, because you're not happy or joyful or fulfilled.
And that? That's just bullshit. It's telling someone who was deeply abused that they can't be angry about it, because if they're angry about how they were treated, that's proof that they're the ones who failed.
I felt this sort of deep and resonating peace run through me when I watched Shiny Happy People -- the documentary about the Duggars -- because the family in which I was raised was not part of the Quiverfull movement, but we were one step to the left from there. My parents had Focus on the Family publications in the house, including parenting books by Dobson. A lot of the ideas and ideals about the Proper Kind of Life I grew up with had a lot of overlap with the way the Duggars lived, just turned down like... one notch. Sometimes.
And watching that show made me realize that I hadn't failed to live up to the kind of life that my parents wanted me to live, but that living that kind of life is impossible, and it's set up to be impossible. The standards of purity of thought and purity of action and "righteous behavior" were not ever set up for me to be able to adhere to, or for anyone to be able to adhere to. I was set up to fail from the beginning, because that failure was how the religious structure in which I was raised could control me, and did control me. I was supposed to allow them to slap me, both metaphorically and literally, and smile about it. I was supposed to allow them to hit me, both metaphorically and literally, and profess to being deeply, joyously content with the treatment.
If I could not be struck and smile about it, if I could not be told that I am broken and wrong and disgusting and profess joy, then the problem wasn't with the people who were hurting me, the problem was with me, and was just a sort of proof that the way I wanted to live my life must be wrong.
This sort of commentary is just a lighter form of that kind of abusive rhetoric. Don't fall for it.
I'm very happy with my life, and the ways in which I am not happy with my life do not track back to anything that I did or did not do, but to the parts of my past where I or my community were mistreated.